The Crazy One Read online

  Tracy was also on our tail when we went to Shifty's for karaoke. I drove this time instead of letting Joel hire a car. If he was trying to be incognito, showing up in a chauffeured car wasn't going to do it.

  When we got to the bar, all of my friends were already seated around a few tables they'd smashed together. We sat next to Joni, who looked surprised. I didn't appreciate the shock on her face, however.

  "So, you did bring your boyfriend."

  "Not my boyfriend," I corrected, probably beet-red in the face. "My date."

  "And his friend?"

  "Yes. Tracy."

  "So, he brought another woman on a date. Is something weird going on here?"

  "It's not like that," I protested. Obviously, I wasn't well prepared for these questions.

  Joel sensed my discomfort. He leaned over me and put his hand out to Joni.

  "Hi," he said. "I'm Joel. I'm Lucy's date." He emphasized the last word and gave me a side eye. I was hoping he hadn't taken offense to what I had said. He grinned at me. Then he turned his attention to the server who had come to our table.

  "You guys want something? Appetizers? Beer?"

  Joel perused the single-page appetizer menu on the table.

  "Which ones are good?" he asked no one in particular. Everyone at the table shouted out their favorite of the five options. Joel laughed heartily and dropped the menu back onto the table. "One of each," he said. The server stared at him for a minute to see if he would announce that he was joking. He didn't. Onto the order he added a whiskey sour for him and a Bud Lite for me.

  The server turned to Tracy.

  "You want anything to drink, Miss?"

  "That's okay. I'll probably end up driving these two home."

  Joel put his arm around me and nodded in agreement.

  "Pop's free for designated drivers," the server told her.

  "Huh?"

  "Soda," I interjected. "You get a free soda."

  "Oh. Okay. Coke, then."

  "Are you from New York, too?" Joni asked Tracy.

  Tracy nodded.

  "You his cousin or something?" Joni waved her finger between Joel and Tracy. Lucky for us, the bar erupted in cheers as a burly, bald man took the microphone and launched into AC/DC's "Back in Black".

  Everything was going well. The booze flowed, and everyone started to forget I had brought two newbies into our group. When the five appetizers came, Joel invited everyone to share them. This made them all happy and made him a hero. Even outside of fame, Joel seemed to have the ability to charm everyone around him. Tonight he was a regular guy who bought them food and made them laugh.

  Currently, a confident redhead was belting out a shaky rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" with all her might. In the world of karaoke, some of us were there to have fun, and some of us were there with much more serious intentions. She was one of the serious ones. I figured either she was practicing for something or hoping to be discovered in this obscure Nebraska bar. Or maybe she really, really enjoyed singing.

  "Do you sing, Joel?" Joni, who was now plenty drunk, was leaning over my lap toward him and exposing most of her lacy, red bra. She reached over and put her hand on his arm. "Why are you still wearing that hat?"

  "Uh," he looked at me questioningly. I shrugged.

  "Do you sing?" She was slurring heavily.

  "A little."

  "Get up and sing." Her arm gave out and she nearly landed face-first in my lap.

  The others in our group began to chant for Joel to sing. The redhead grimaced on the last lines of her song, offended that we weren't engrossed in her performance. She finished and rejoined her friends who, so far, had monopolized most of the stage time with their routines worthy of American-Idol outtakes.

  "Don't worry," said Leron who then patted Joel on the back. "I put your name in."

  Joel and I exchanged glances. I whispered to him that we could leave. He squeezed my shoulder.

  "I'd kind of like to do it," he said. "Gotta try new things, right?"

  Leron handed him the song book. Joel perused it for a few minutes, wrote down his selection, and handed it to Leron who took it to the DJ. When I asked Joel what he'd picked he grinned and patted my leg. Then he motioned for our server to replace our empty drinks.

  While I sipped my next drink, some of my friends got up and shouted a song together. Then the redhead took the mic again. She picked a show tune and got into character.

  "She's really into this shit," Leron said. The others laughed. "It's always fun to see the ones who think they're pros."

  "Everybody has to start somewhere," Joel said to no one in particular. I put my hand on his arm to show my support. The group fell sheepishly silent, then quickly changed the subject and were rowdy again.

  The redhead finished to half-hearted applause.

  The DJ announced, "Next up is Joel, 'I Want to Know What Love Is'."

  My friends and coworkers cheered for him when he took the microphone. As most drunk people do, they immediately went back to their spirited discussions before he could utter a note. My attention was fully on Joel, who winked at me as he began to croon. He didn't care if they heard because he clearly only meant the song for me. The whole bar talked right over him, but he sang as if he and I were the only ones in the room.

  As Joel's voice crescendoed with the music, the room became quieter. Conversations dropped as everyone in the room took notice of Joel's vocal talent. All eyes were on him when, during a break in the song, he took of his baseball hat and ruffled his messy hair.

  "Oh my god," Joni hissed at me. "Is he Joel Ruskin?"

  I nodded and continued to watch Joel, unable to control the giant grin on my face.

  "Are you dating Joel Ruskin?" Leron asked.

  I shrugged casually. "I guess."

  Joel finished strong, his eyes on me. I smiled, and the whole bar erupted in hoots and hollers. Several people stood up and patted him on the back or shook his hand as he passed. Tracy, the sober one, was already out of her seat and ready to usher us out the door.

  Our group was suddenly even more enthralled with my date now. He strolled to the table and put his hand out to me to help me out of my chair. I was hit with a head rush from standing quickly and from the alcohol, noise and excitement. When I stumbled toward him, Joel caught me with both arms and smiled down at my booze-flushed face. He was hardly more sober than I.

  Joni was looking on at us with her arms folded across her chest. Leron patted Joel firmly on the back.

  "I knew it was you the whole time," he boomed. "Just wanted to see how long you could keep it up." He rustled Joel's hair like they were old pals, then fell drunkenly back into his chair. He laughed loudly and announced to the others, "We should have had him order us way more food."

  We quickly said goodnight. Joel checked that Tracy had paid the bill, and then he dropped an enormous tip on the bar for our server. Everyone seemed to be trying to talk to Joel at once as we made a break for the front door.

  Tracy was standing outside waiting for us with her hand outstretched. I handed her my keys and we ran for the car.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Omaha - 2015

  "You missed some craziness last night," Joni said. The two of them were sweeping glass from a large picture that had mysteriously fallen off the wall overnight.

  "Did I?" She was aware that several of the mall closers had met at the new bar down the street. After the hangover of the previous weekend, Lucy wasn’t at all disappointed she’d missed it. She still reveled in the memories of her fake date with Joel. Joni didn't even realize Lucy had been with them all in spirit. In her mind, Joni was insanely envious and recapping the night that Joel Ruskin showed up at Shifty’s.

  She imagined the Monday morning news. Channel Six would have thrown in a story about all the Joel Ruskin sightings around town over the weekend.

  "Celebrity Joel Ruskin was spotted in Omaha this weekend. Sightings included the Old Market, The Henry Doorly Zoo, and even singing karaoke at
Shifty's bar. No word on whether he was in town for business or just visiting our fair city. I guess we'll have to wait and see where he pops up next."

  Mostly she was tuned out while Joni talked. The imaginary evening played over the sound of her friend’s voice. She watched her with glazed eyes, nodded a few times, but only caught words here and there.

  Instead, she was calling Joel to tell him that Omaha had noticed his presence. Of course, the call went to voicemail. She was disappointed to not hear his voice and have this laugh with him.

  "Hey, there. Your name is all over the local news today. You're our latest celebrity sighting. There was even a shaky video of you singing at Shifty's. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know you made an impact. Talk to you later."

  Her lips moving slightly as she imagined herself leaving him a voice message. Joni didn’t notice.

  "It turns out," Joni continued, "that guy Brandt from the sporting goods store isn't even gay."

  "Really? I totally thought he was." That was still not as nearly interesting as when Joel revealed himself to the crowd.

  "I know, right? It's like, nobody should spend that much time and money on their hair if they ain’t trying to attract a man. Anyway, Leron tried to put a move on him and he all got up and called him a fag. It was crazy. Then he left and Leron’s acting like he don't even care. But he so much did care. I had to drive him home 'cause he got shit-faced after that."

  Lucy wanted to add to her message that she missed him and that she couldn’t wait to see him again. She wanted to tell him to call her back as soon as he could get away because she wasn’t sure how long she could go without hearing his voice speaking directly to her and not through her TV screen. She kept that all to herself, though. She was still guarding her heart.

  Joni stopped talking. That was Lucy’s cue to step back into reality. She shrugged, hoping this was the correct response. It was apparently acceptable because Joni didn’t blow up at her for not listening like she had before.

  The two of them finished cleaning up the broken glass and went back to their usual Sunday task of sitting on the stools doing nothing. A group of girls wandered in to browse, but they clearly weren't planning on buying anything.

  "How's your boyfriend?" Joni posed the question like a sixth-grader would.

  "Joel is fine."

  "Is he staying at your place?"

  "Yep." She leafed noisily through the People magazine that had come in the mail earlier in the week.

  "You should tell him to come visit us today. I'd like to meet him."

  "I'll tell him."

  Joni picked up Lucy’s phone from the counter and set it on the counter in front of her.

  "Text him right now."

  "In a minute." She wasn't paying attention to her. She had stopped on a page in the magazine of candid celebrity shots. There, under a photo of Nicole Kidman in a park, was a picture of Joel Ruskin walking in New York with his mom.

  She looked like a typical mom, not necessarily a star's mom. She was a little overweight and wore little makeup. Lucy's heart jumped. She had found another piece of him. For a moment she imagined the three of them having lunch together. They were laughing. There could be no reason Joel's mom wouldn't like her as much as he did.

  "Ugh," Joni groaned. "Get your nose out of that magazine. What? Did you find a picture of your boyfriend Beau Castle in there? Does Joel know you have a crush on him?" She hopped off the stool, stuck her face next to Lucy’s ear and whispered, "Does he know Beau’s your lover?"

  Lucy swatted at her with one hand like she was swatting a fly. She knitted her brow. If Joni only knew.

  But Joni only laughed and headed out of the store to use the restroom. When she was gone, Lucy carefully cut Joel's picture out of the store's magazine. She tucked it carefully into her purse, and when she got home she taped the small photo to the full-length mirror in her bedroom. Then she smiled at Joel's image and had a lengthy conversation with it. She wished him a safe trip back to New York.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Because of a creepy neighbor and her building's super old washing machines, Lucy preferred to do her laundry at her mom and dad's house. It was also a great time to get some free groceries from their overstocked kitchen. Even with their only child out of the house, they still kept enough food to feed a large family.

  Her mom had finished taking photos of her handmade jewelry. Now she sat on the couch next to Lucy with her computer in her lap.

  Lucy was eating popcorn and watching HGTV. She liked to get ideas for the house she might one day have. Someday maybe she and Joel would have a place here in Omaha to get away from the fast life in New York. They'd have a yard and a fence and a dog and some kids. Joel would come to prefer the simple life. He would spend all his free days there with her and they would be intensely happy.

  On the TV there was a local commercial for a national talent competition that was filming in town. Twenty contestants from the area had been preselected from online video submissions and would be competing onstage in ten cities. The judges would pick two finalists from each city to compete in Hollywood during a live show. Viewers could then vote online in real time. She wasn't interested. She didn't have talent, and she'd already missed the submission period. Then she saw the faces of the celebrity judges on the screen followed by her very own crush. She gasped.

  "...and hosted by Joel Ruskin. Hometown Star is coming to your town. Go online for tickets now."

  "You should do that, Lucy," her mom said. "You love to sing."

  "You don't need talent for karaoke, Mom." It was hard for her to talk. She could barely breathe. Joel was coming to Omaha. He was actually going to set foot in her city. For real this time. She had to go to that show.

  She pulled up the ticket website on her phone. Every last ticket was gone.

  "How can it already be sold out?" she asked herself out loud.

  "Honey, they've been playing this commercial for weeks."

  "Really?" She hardly ever watched live TV anymore. When she watched shows on her DVR, she would always skip the commercials at the highest speed possible. For the last few weeks she'd been watching everything she could find on Joel, so it wasn't clear why this was the first she was hearing of the competition.

  She began to perspire. How could this be? Was she really going to miss him? She began to tremble, but quickly composed herself. There had to be a way. If she couldn't be in the audience, at least she could still go to the arena. Maybe she'd catch a glimpse of him. Maybe she would see him around town.

  It may have been fate bringing him to her hometown. Could it be true? Could she and Joel be destined for each other? And was this proof? There was no other explanation in her mind for this coincidence.

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  Distractions were hard to find as I waited for the day of the Omaha show to roll around. I stressed over my appearance for several days before Joel came. Everything needed to be perfect. I was manicured, waxed, tanned, and dyed for the occasion. There was plenty of competition for his attention, and I didn't want to get lost in the crowd even though he assured me I wouldn't.

  With the taping and the traveling, Joel and I had no time to see each other. I'd thought about quitting my job and touring with him, but we weren't nearly far along enough in our relationship to even consider asking him. And I needed my job. Besides, his schedule was hectic beyond what the camera showed, and I would probably spend most of the time lonely and bored.

  At least I had the Omaha audition to look forward to. Until that week, there were only short conversations fit into both of our lives. Each one was a countdown to the day we'd finally be able to see each other again. He reminded me there probably wouldn't be any casual free time like before, but I looked forward to having his arms around me even for a moment if it was all I could get. I wondered, with all the people who would be buzzing around him if I would even get a chance to talk to him at all. How unfair that would be.

  Joni was tickled that my famous boyfriend w
as coming into town again. I hadn't told her, but there was no way to escape the news of a national singing competition. In fact, she insisted on having a girls' night out on Tuesday to discuss it. I had two tickets to the show, and I'd already told her I was taking my mom with me. She said it was okay, but I still got the feeling she thought there might be a chance my mom would cancel. Suddenly Joni was my best friend, stuck to me like glue. She never let me forget that she was in if my mom backed out.

  The truth was, I hadn't told my mom about Joel yet. I hadn't really told anyone, and I'd made my friends promise to keep it a secret. I could only imagine how many people would be camped in front of my building every time they heard Joel Ruskin was in town. This week in particular would have been a madhouse.

  "What about your dad?" Joni asked. I had gone downstairs to meet her at the elevator on Tuesday evening. It was her first time at my apartment, and I didn't want her to get lost. "Doesn't he want to go?"

  "I could never get him to go to a thing like that. He doesn't even like live theater."

  "I bet you could if you told him your boyfriend was hosting."

  "Then he'd ask me why I don't bring him home for Thanksgiving like a normal person. And Joel isn't my boyfriend."

  "Sure," she smirked. "Whatever."

  I let her go ahead of me into the apartment.

  "Wow, Lucy! This place is nice." She walked past the couch and gazed out of one of the huge windows. "I would kill for a view like this."

  Our plan was to have a few drinks and then meet her other girlfriends at a bar down the street. I opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses.

  "Here's to your fancy place," she toasted.

  "Here's to girls' night."

  Halfway through our second drink I heard the familiar jingle of a set of keys at my front door. The wine had made me fuzzy, slowing my reaction and comprehension of the sound. Only the concierge had an extra set of keys to my apartment. There was only one other person it could possibly be.